When Ellis Rose began eating food, I began to panic a bit. Which is hard to believe because there was a time (in the throes of breastfeeding every 2 hours) when I looked forward to the day she would eat solid food. When that time was upon me, I felt an immense weight of responsibility settle on my shoulders. I wanted to provide her with healthy and satisfying food. But I also didn't want eating to become this chore, this onemorethingtoaddtothelist. Food, and eating, should be fun. This was only one of the seeming contradictions I faced.
Although I am a vegetarian, I do not intend to make that decision for my daughter. However, I do not plan on cooking meat for her either. So, my basic plan became:
1. I'll make the food
2. She will eat it
3. If she wants other food, she can make it herself or eat it elsewhere
Does that sound too cold? Or too ridiculous considering we were only just beginning this foray into solid food and we were a long way off from sleepovers and McDonalds?
Begin as you intend to go on. As they say.
I have made all of Ellis Rose's food to date. She has almost always had fresh, organic and local produce. She has not had meat but has had a variety of protein in beans, eggs, yogurt, cheese and, most recently, quinoa. She has had spices including cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, basil, curry, rosemary and vanilla. So far, she has loved everything except avacados. (This should be rectified soon, say her Mexican food-loving parents.)
If you are a vegetarian parent feeding your child a vegetarian diet, quinoa is a really easy way to provide protein. Quiona is easy to cook and you can add whatever you like to it.
Autumn Quinoa
2 cups cooking liquid (we used veggie broth and water)
1 cup quinoa
1/2 cup chopped butternut squash
1/4 cup fresh cranberries
1/2 cup green peas
1/4 cup diced apple, skin removed
2 Tbs curry powder or to taste
Cook the quinoa according to package instructions. Meanwhile, steam saute the butternut squash and cranberries until they are soft. Add the diced apples and continue cooking until most of the liquid is absorbed. Add curry powder. Add in green peas and cook until heated through. Mix with the quinoa. Enjoy!
Friday
Thursday
Let's get caught up here
Well, we're in North Carolina now and here are some of the things we've been up to:
1. Adam started his new job and LOVES it
2. Ellis Rose has 4 new teeth and has been crawling and standing!
3. I started a new part-time job. So far, so good but I hate that....
4. ...Ellis Rose started daycare.
I think my biggest problem with daycare is just getting her there in the morning. Our mornings up until now have been very relaxed and we get to s-l-o-w-l-y nurse, cuddle, nap and read books. Now, it is a mad rush to get her to finish up nursing, dressed and out the door. Ick.
Also, I hate pumping and I'm not sure I'm going to be able to pump enough to keep up. Ick. Ick.
BUT, I do like how Ellis Rose is able to play with some other kids her age at daycare. AND, I love how she now has more people involved in her life. I think the more people involved in her life, the better. It takes a village, right?
At the end of the day, Ellis Rose is healthy and happy despite these most recent changes in her young life. And I'm still her mama.
1. Adam started his new job and LOVES it
2. Ellis Rose has 4 new teeth and has been crawling and standing!
3. I started a new part-time job. So far, so good but I hate that....
4. ...Ellis Rose started daycare.
I think my biggest problem with daycare is just getting her there in the morning. Our mornings up until now have been very relaxed and we get to s-l-o-w-l-y nurse, cuddle, nap and read books. Now, it is a mad rush to get her to finish up nursing, dressed and out the door. Ick.
Also, I hate pumping and I'm not sure I'm going to be able to pump enough to keep up. Ick. Ick.
BUT, I do like how Ellis Rose is able to play with some other kids her age at daycare. AND, I love how she now has more people involved in her life. I think the more people involved in her life, the better. It takes a village, right?
At the end of the day, Ellis Rose is healthy and happy despite these most recent changes in her young life. And I'm still her mama.
Saturday
Gone to Carolina
So....you know how I mentioned there will be lots of changes in our household? Well, the biggest is that our household is moving! To North Carolina!
Adam and I have shared the dream of one day living in NC so this is a huge step to starting "our life." We fell in love with NC when we worked on an organic farm in Pittsboro (near Chapel Hill) and have started many sentences with "When we live in NC..." Needless to say, we are pretty excited about this newest transition.
That being said, we will certainly miss some aspects of Little Rock. Namely, living so close to my parents. It has been great to just pop over there or meet them for lunch or drop Ellis Rose off so we could see a movie. We will miss those things. BUT, they are certainly more than welcome to visit us AND we'll be much closer to the McEvoy side of the family.
I'm probably being paranoid, but I'm not going to name the town in which we will be living. I find it hard to believe someone would read this blog and decide to stalk me but you just never know! Plus, the town we are moving to is tiny so it is conceivable someone could find us. Before I had Ellis Rose, I wouldn't have thought twice but now I'm a protective mama. So, watch out bad guys (and gals).
Adam already has a job and I am still applying but hoping to get one soon (or at least an interview!). I will also not say where we are working because I've just heard of way too many people getting fired over content in their blogs. I can tell you that Adam will be teaching and his job seems like a dream and I am so proud of him.
We also already have an apartment of which I've been dreaming about at night. I love moving because I love to dream up ways to decorate new spaces. And this space we are moving to is going to be wonderful. 14 ft ceilings (imagine the Christmas trees we can buy!), 10 ft windows, 2 bedrooms and, yes, 2 bathrooms. I think I'm more excited about the 2 bathrooms than I am about anything. No more jogging outside the bathroom door while I wait for Adam to finish up. Anyway, I'll be posting some of my decorating ideas soon.
Anyway, that's the biggest news I have to share. For the next month or so, we'll be packing up boxes and selling some of the crap we've accumulated while living in Little Rock. That's another good thing about moving - you get to purge!
Adam and I have shared the dream of one day living in NC so this is a huge step to starting "our life." We fell in love with NC when we worked on an organic farm in Pittsboro (near Chapel Hill) and have started many sentences with "When we live in NC..." Needless to say, we are pretty excited about this newest transition.
That being said, we will certainly miss some aspects of Little Rock. Namely, living so close to my parents. It has been great to just pop over there or meet them for lunch or drop Ellis Rose off so we could see a movie. We will miss those things. BUT, they are certainly more than welcome to visit us AND we'll be much closer to the McEvoy side of the family.
I'm probably being paranoid, but I'm not going to name the town in which we will be living. I find it hard to believe someone would read this blog and decide to stalk me but you just never know! Plus, the town we are moving to is tiny so it is conceivable someone could find us. Before I had Ellis Rose, I wouldn't have thought twice but now I'm a protective mama. So, watch out bad guys (and gals).
Adam already has a job and I am still applying but hoping to get one soon (or at least an interview!). I will also not say where we are working because I've just heard of way too many people getting fired over content in their blogs. I can tell you that Adam will be teaching and his job seems like a dream and I am so proud of him.
We also already have an apartment of which I've been dreaming about at night. I love moving because I love to dream up ways to decorate new spaces. And this space we are moving to is going to be wonderful. 14 ft ceilings (imagine the Christmas trees we can buy!), 10 ft windows, 2 bedrooms and, yes, 2 bathrooms. I think I'm more excited about the 2 bathrooms than I am about anything. No more jogging outside the bathroom door while I wait for Adam to finish up. Anyway, I'll be posting some of my decorating ideas soon.
Anyway, that's the biggest news I have to share. For the next month or so, we'll be packing up boxes and selling some of the crap we've accumulated while living in Little Rock. That's another good thing about moving - you get to purge!
Thursday
Wednesday
The big diaper post
Long before Ellis Rose arrived, we knew we'd do cloth diapers. We chose to do cloth diapers for many reasons, among them:
1. It is cheaper in the long run
2. It is better for the environment.
3. It is easy.
4. The diaper covers are just so darn cute (that may have not been on Adam's list of reasons but it should be. I'll post of a picture of Ellis Rose in her diaper so you can be the judge)
So, we embarked on the sometimes overwhelming world of cloth diapering. First of all, most of the cloth diapering websites use acronyms to describe their products. So I had to wade through the CD's (cloth diapers), AIO (all-in-one's) and PF's (prefolds) for a while before I had a good idea of what we wanted.
We finally decided on one-size diapers because it just seemed easier than trying to figure out how many of each size to purchase. We bought a mixture of BumGenius 3.0 and FuzziBunz diapers but decided to just start off with 12 total. (Most websites recommend 24 if you want to do the laundry every 2 days). I didn't want to go out and buy 24 diapers in case we didn't like them or in case our baby had an adverse reaction to them.
Then, my wonderful and glorious sister bought me a month with a local diaper service. This was great because it would give us a chance to ease into cloth diapering while we were easing into caring for a newborn. The cloth diaper service uses pre-folds and Bummi's covers. I have to say, I liked this much better than I thought I would. So so easy!
So now we have several pre-folds, 4 Bummi's covers and 12 BumGenius and FuzziBunz. I think we'll hold off on purchasing any more for the time being because we seem to do be doing fine with this combination. Of course, I haven't yet started washing them myself so I may realize I need many many more when I have a pile of dirty diapers to wash everyday.
If you are considering cloth diapering, I highly recommend the following websites. Don't let the acronyms getcha down!
And if you live in the Little Rock area, check out Green Mommie Diaper Service
Tuesday
This is it!
I think I've finally found a blog template that I truly like. At times like this, I really wish I knew how to do computer graphic design stuff. I know what I like I just don't know how to make it.
Anyway, the title of this template is "Catch Me" which I think matches our blog title "Ramble Bramble" pretty well. Speaking of rambling, there is lots going on in the McEvoy household which I'll be sure to catch everyone up on soon.
Also, I'm playing around with the ads. I hope the ads aren't obnoxious. Now that I've actually got some readers, I thought I'd try it out. If it becomes too intrusive, though, I'm getting rid of them. Until I get a job (more on that soon) though I thought it couldn't hurt to bring in some income - no matter how small!
Anyway, the title of this template is "Catch Me" which I think matches our blog title "Ramble Bramble" pretty well. Speaking of rambling, there is lots going on in the McEvoy household which I'll be sure to catch everyone up on soon.
Also, I'm playing around with the ads. I hope the ads aren't obnoxious. Now that I've actually got some readers, I thought I'd try it out. If it becomes too intrusive, though, I'm getting rid of them. Until I get a job (more on that soon) though I thought it couldn't hurt to bring in some income - no matter how small!
Wednesday
4 Month Check-Up
Ellis Rose had her four month check-up today and everything is looking great except she went from the 20th percentile in weight to the 2 percentile. She only gained 1 lb in 4 months.
Of course, I immediately began having a mini-panic attack but the doctor wasn't too too concerned. Obviously, Ellis Rose is healthy and happy because she's hitting all of her developmental milestones and then some. But, she needs to gain more weight. My doctor's theory is that we are finally just getting back on track after all of the breastfeeding woes.
So we are going back in 3 weeks for a weigh-in. If she hasn't bumped up a few percentage points, then we worry. About what, I'm not entirely sure.
In the meantime, I'm taking fenugreek to try to up my milk supply. Recommendations from Kellymom can be found here. Basically, you take it until you smell like maple syrup. Then you know you've got the correct dosage. Should be fun.
Ellis got her vaccines too and took it like a champ. She cried for a few minutes but then got over it. I wish I recovered as quickly! I honestly did not think I'd be one of those moms who gets all teary eyed when it is time for the shots - but I do. It is just so awful to see her jerk when they first jab her.
All in all I don't have much to complain about. We have a healthy and happy (despite how this picture appears) baby.
Of course, I immediately began having a mini-panic attack but the doctor wasn't too too concerned. Obviously, Ellis Rose is healthy and happy because she's hitting all of her developmental milestones and then some. But, she needs to gain more weight. My doctor's theory is that we are finally just getting back on track after all of the breastfeeding woes.
So we are going back in 3 weeks for a weigh-in. If she hasn't bumped up a few percentage points, then we worry. About what, I'm not entirely sure.
In the meantime, I'm taking fenugreek to try to up my milk supply. Recommendations from Kellymom can be found here. Basically, you take it until you smell like maple syrup. Then you know you've got the correct dosage. Should be fun.
Ellis got her vaccines too and took it like a champ. She cried for a few minutes but then got over it. I wish I recovered as quickly! I honestly did not think I'd be one of those moms who gets all teary eyed when it is time for the shots - but I do. It is just so awful to see her jerk when they first jab her.
All in all I don't have much to complain about. We have a healthy and happy (despite how this picture appears) baby.
In my defense
I had my Master's thesis defense today and everything went well. All of the professors in our unit were there and, dare I say it, it was kind of fun. When it was all over they said I could stick around to wait and hear the verdict. Strangely, I wasn't very nervous so the wait wasn't so bad. They came out to tell me I passed! I will graduate on Saturday.
There were definitely times soon after Ellis Rose was born when I had some "What on earth was I thinking" moments. But we made it through with the help of my family who babysat when I was in class or working on papers.
It is kind of neat to think that Ellis Rose attended all of my classes with me last summer and fall and now she'll be attending graduation too!
There were definitely times soon after Ellis Rose was born when I had some "What on earth was I thinking" moments. But we made it through with the help of my family who babysat when I was in class or working on papers.
It is kind of neat to think that Ellis Rose attended all of my classes with me last summer and fall and now she'll be attending graduation too!
Sunday
Mother's Day
It is crazy to think that a year ago, today, we found out we were pregnant. I remember sitting on the edge of our tub with the matching + signs in my hand and laughing. I really just could not believe. Adam was still sleeping in the bed and I just stood there staring at him thinking of ways to tell him. I don't really remember how I told him. I think I may have just blurted it out.
That night, I made dinner for my mom and I was fair to busting with the news. It was really hard not to tell them. I had white grape juice in my wine glass so they wouldn't catch on. (Because me not drinking wine would definitely have raised some flags!)
And it is crazy to think that one year after that day I am sitting here with a warm little baby on my lap. And she's smiling and laughing and cooing and reaching and flipping and playing.
What a difference a year makes.
That night, I made dinner for my mom and I was fair to busting with the news. It was really hard not to tell them. I had white grape juice in my wine glass so they wouldn't catch on. (Because me not drinking wine would definitely have raised some flags!)
And it is crazy to think that one year after that day I am sitting here with a warm little baby on my lap. And she's smiling and laughing and cooing and reaching and flipping and playing.
Friday
Bear with me
I'm changing my blog style. Yet again. I'm going for something girly this time because it is clear Adam will seldom be posting on here. So I decided to pick something I like as opposed to something we like.
Wednesday
Food for thought
I read this the other day and thought it was pretty interesting. What do you think?
Thursday
3 Months
I feel like I've been a bit of a Negative Nancy on this blog. Which is weird because I'm usually very optimistic. I guess this whole breastfeeding thing has just consumed me and I feel this is the best outlet for my thoughts. Although, my family and friends would probably argue they've had to hear all about it too.
So, in honor of Ellis Rose's 3-month birthday, I wanted to do a quick happy update. Here's what she's been in up to in the 3 months since her birth:
1) She's been babbling. The squeeks she made when she was a newborn have long since been replaced by "ooh" and "aargh" and "rawr" and an occasional "yeowya"
2) She rolled over! One day she just rolled from her tummy to her back. Twice. In a row. The next day, she rolled over from her back to her tummy. I'm thinking of attaching Swiffer sheets so she can clean our wood floors.
3) She watches the cats now and she's incredibly interested in them. She'll even lean forward so she can get a better look.
4) She sits! Well, she sits in the Bumbo but is still a step forward.
5) She's obsessed with her hands. She's constantly sucking on them, licking them, biting them, practically gagging herself with them. All of this means she has less fuzz in-between her fingers, which means I have less to pick out when I'm nursing her.
6) She has seen her feet but she still doesn't know they are attached to her body. But she likes to watch them move and seems enthralled by them at times.
All in all, I'm amazed at the changes she's undergone in 3 months. I'll do this again in 3 months when she is 6 months old and writing her memoirs. Until then, I'll leave you with this little video clip.
So, in honor of Ellis Rose's 3-month birthday, I wanted to do a quick happy update. Here's what she's been in up to in the 3 months since her birth:
1) She's been babbling. The squeeks she made when she was a newborn have long since been replaced by "ooh" and "aargh" and "rawr" and an occasional "yeowya"
2) She rolled over! One day she just rolled from her tummy to her back. Twice. In a row. The next day, she rolled over from her back to her tummy. I'm thinking of attaching Swiffer sheets so she can clean our wood floors.
3) She watches the cats now and she's incredibly interested in them. She'll even lean forward so she can get a better look.
4) She sits! Well, she sits in the Bumbo but is still a step forward.
5) She's obsessed with her hands. She's constantly sucking on them, licking them, biting them, practically gagging herself with them. All of this means she has less fuzz in-between her fingers, which means I have less to pick out when I'm nursing her.
6) She has seen her feet but she still doesn't know they are attached to her body. But she likes to watch them move and seems enthralled by them at times.
All in all, I'm amazed at the changes she's undergone in 3 months. I'll do this again in 3 months when she is 6 months old and writing her memoirs. Until then, I'll leave you with this little video clip.
Sunday
I've met God and she's a lactation consultant in Nashville
The lactation consultant figured out our problem in minute one of our consultation. Ellis Rose is holding her tongue up and back when she's nursing. It is supposed to be down and sticking out somewhat.
At first, I honestly felt pretty stupid that I didn't realize this was the problem. I guess I was so focused on making her sure her mouth was wide open and her lips were flared that I didn't notice her tongue was all wonky.
As to how long this has been going on? Who knows. It could've been like this from the beginning or it could be a problem she developed once she had a few bottles. The two main points, however, were that:
1) it makes mama hurt
2) it is an inefficient way to nurse - she doesn't get enough milk this way
The solution to this problem? I have to stick my tongue out at her before she nurses. This little part is, according to my dad, proof that god has a sense of humor. Because I cannot stick out my tongue. My problem is that I have a short frenulum and while Ellis Rose has a shorter frenulum than most, it is long enough for her to stick her tongue out.
However, I can apparently stick mine out far enough for Ellis Rose to get the point. There are some other exercises we can work on too which, all combined, will make me look like an insane woman when I'm nursing her. But whatever works, right?
I continue to revise my nursing goals. Some days, I think I can do it for 1 year. Other days, I think it'll be more like 6 months. Still other days, I think I'll maybe make it another 5 minutes. But, no matter what, I've made a rule for myself. If I ever decide to quit nursing I have to wait 24 hours before I actually quit. I usually change my mind during that time.
When I left the lactation consultant, I told her I would have driven further and paid more for her services. It was well worth a quick trip to Nashville and a measly 80 bucks.
At first, I honestly felt pretty stupid that I didn't realize this was the problem. I guess I was so focused on making her sure her mouth was wide open and her lips were flared that I didn't notice her tongue was all wonky.
As to how long this has been going on? Who knows. It could've been like this from the beginning or it could be a problem she developed once she had a few bottles. The two main points, however, were that:
1) it makes mama hurt
2) it is an inefficient way to nurse - she doesn't get enough milk this way
The solution to this problem? I have to stick my tongue out at her before she nurses. This little part is, according to my dad, proof that god has a sense of humor. Because I cannot stick out my tongue. My problem is that I have a short frenulum and while Ellis Rose has a shorter frenulum than most, it is long enough for her to stick her tongue out.
However, I can apparently stick mine out far enough for Ellis Rose to get the point. There are some other exercises we can work on too which, all combined, will make me look like an insane woman when I'm nursing her. But whatever works, right?
I continue to revise my nursing goals. Some days, I think I can do it for 1 year. Other days, I think it'll be more like 6 months. Still other days, I think I'll maybe make it another 5 minutes. But, no matter what, I've made a rule for myself. If I ever decide to quit nursing I have to wait 24 hours before I actually quit. I usually change my mind during that time.
When I left the lactation consultant, I told her I would have driven further and paid more for her services. It was well worth a quick trip to Nashville and a measly 80 bucks.
Wednesday
Boob Tour 2010
Well, breastfeeding is not any better. Actually, it is worse. So, I'm going off on what Adam has dubbed Boob Tour 2010 to try to get this resolved. After calling Le Leche League here in Little Rock (and receiving no call back) and trying to get a private consultation with a board certified lactation consultant (they can't because they have contracts with hospitals) I am driving to Nashville to see a lactation consultant there.
It isn't as crazy as it seems. My sister lives in Nashville. And the lactation consultation is only $80 but will last roughly 1 1/2 hours.
If this whole breastfeeding thing doesn't work, I just want to know I did everything I could.
It isn't as crazy as it seems. My sister lives in Nashville. And the lactation consultation is only $80 but will last roughly 1 1/2 hours.
If this whole breastfeeding thing doesn't work, I just want to know I did everything I could.
Tuesday
Happy Days are Here Again
I'm a week into my treatment for intraductal yeast and I gave nursing a go for the first time. And guess what?
It wasn't unbearable!
I didn't sweat through the nursing session. I didn't scream at latch-on. I didn't sit have to take Ellis off after 15 minutes. It still isn't quite back to normal but I can tell it is much much better. I think from now on I'll just nurse exclusively.
No more bottles! No more pumping!
Until I go back to work, at least.
I don't know if Ellis has missed nursing (she seems to like the much faster flow of the bottle) but I definitely have so I'm glad to be getting back to it. I was pretty depressed when I thought I might have to give it up for good.
Since we're in this for the long haul now I guess I need to invest in a nursing cover since I haven't quite mastered the blanket over the shoulder routine.
(This concludes what I hope is the very last post about breastfeeding)
It wasn't unbearable!
I didn't sweat through the nursing session. I didn't scream at latch-on. I didn't sit have to take Ellis off after 15 minutes. It still isn't quite back to normal but I can tell it is much much better. I think from now on I'll just nurse exclusively.
No more bottles! No more pumping!
Until I go back to work, at least.
I don't know if Ellis has missed nursing (she seems to like the much faster flow of the bottle) but I definitely have so I'm glad to be getting back to it. I was pretty depressed when I thought I might have to give it up for good.
Since we're in this for the long haul now I guess I need to invest in a nursing cover since I haven't quite mastered the blanket over the shoulder routine.
(This concludes what I hope is the very last post about breastfeeding)
Lactation consultant = Angel
The verdict from the lactation consultant today was a little more hazy than I would have liked but at least I got some answers. The problem we are having is one (or both) of the following:
1. Intraductal thrush (which is pretty much exactly what it sounds like)
2. Pain when my breasts are refilling with milk
The first problem is treated with a 21-day regimen of diflucan. The second is trickier. I need to take Motrin every 6 hours. I need to put warm compresses after feeding. And, mainly, I need to just try to hold on until the 3-month mark when this problem tends to go away.
To avoid taking a medicine that may not be affective, we'll treat this as if I have problem #2 at first. If the treatment doesn't seem to lessen the pain then I have the intraductal yeast and I'll get a prescription for the diflucan.
The good news: Ellis Rose and I are not doing anything wrong. Her latch is good. My hold is good. The bouts of mastitis are probably related to whatever is going on.
Good news piece #2: I'm not crazy in thinking this is the most excruciating pain I've ever felt. My lactation consultant told me several mothers have said this pain is worse than childbirth (sans epidural). This made me feel better since, when asked to describe the pain, I said it was like red ants with shovels were making their way through my boobs.
So. There you have it. I hope we've jumped this hurdle and are on our way back to the point where breastfeeding is a pleasant experience once again.
I'm feeling pretty good.
(And then today at lunch my dad said he though he saw a tooth. Good lord.)
1. Intraductal thrush (which is pretty much exactly what it sounds like)
2. Pain when my breasts are refilling with milk
The first problem is treated with a 21-day regimen of diflucan. The second is trickier. I need to take Motrin every 6 hours. I need to put warm compresses after feeding. And, mainly, I need to just try to hold on until the 3-month mark when this problem tends to go away.
To avoid taking a medicine that may not be affective, we'll treat this as if I have problem #2 at first. If the treatment doesn't seem to lessen the pain then I have the intraductal yeast and I'll get a prescription for the diflucan.
The good news: Ellis Rose and I are not doing anything wrong. Her latch is good. My hold is good. The bouts of mastitis are probably related to whatever is going on.
Good news piece #2: I'm not crazy in thinking this is the most excruciating pain I've ever felt. My lactation consultant told me several mothers have said this pain is worse than childbirth (sans epidural). This made me feel better since, when asked to describe the pain, I said it was like red ants with shovels were making their way through my boobs.
So. There you have it. I hope we've jumped this hurdle and are on our way back to the point where breastfeeding is a pleasant experience once again.
I'm feeling pretty good.
(And then today at lunch my dad said he though he saw a tooth. Good lord.)
Monday
Breastfeeding FAIL
Well I should have known, after my last post, that this would happen. When you toot your own horn it tends to turn around and blast you in the face. Or something like that.
We've hit a bit of a stumbling block in the breastfeeding department. I want to tell you about it in case their are any breastfeeding mamas out there who are having trouble and read my last entry and thought "WTF? What am I doing wrong?" The answer is "nothing." You are doing nothing wrong. There is probably not anything you could have done to prevent the problems you are having. Which, in and of itself, is frustrating but I guess it is a good first lesson in parenthood!
So, Ellis Rose was successfully weaned off the shield with absolutely no problems. Then, about two weeks later, I get mastitis. Totally and completely out of the blue. I still have no idea how I got it. My theories are 1) Ellis was starting to space out her feedings a bit and my body just didn't catch up and 2) my bra doesn't fit.
Not knowing much about mastitis, other than that it is an infection of the breast, I took antibiotics. The mastitis went away but I think the antibiotic was a big mistake on my part.
Next up, thrush. Or something like it. It started with just a bit of tingling after each feeding. Weird but not painful. Then weird became uncomfortable. Uncomfortable became painful and painful became near-unbearable. Add to that excruciating pain at latch-on and breastfeeding suddenly became something I dreaded.
I dealt with this for about a week (stupid, I know) because Ellis Rose's 2 month appointment was coming up and I knew we would be diagnosed with thrush. Problem solved.
Although her pediatrician found no symptoms of thrush in Ellis, the lactation consultant listened to my story and said she was "100% sure" it was yeast because it is very common after a round of antibiotics. She recommended we both be treated for thrush (Ellis and I, not the lactation consultant and I). So I get to rub Monistat-7 on my boobs after each feeding and Ellis gets 4 doses of Nystatin daily. She likes it - it takes like bananas.
The lactation consultant tells me this will make everything immediately better and breastfeeding will no longer feel like I'm in some level of hell. I decide to do the treatment for several days before attempting to breastfeed so during this time I was pumping and bottle-feeding. And guess what happens next?
Mastitis again.
Exact same symptoms as last time except this time I approached my treatment a bit differently. You see, I never had extreme symptoms (other than a high fever) so I did some research and discovered there is something called "noninfectious mastitis." If, after 12-48 hours, the symptoms get better it is likely you have noninfectious mastitis. If they don't, you have infectious mastitis and need antibiotics.
After one very uncomfortable day, mine got better. I spent that day sleeping, pumping every 2 hours, drinking tons of water and massaging my breast. I did not take a fever reducer because I didn't think it was necessary.
So, thinking the worst is behind me, I nurse Ellis for the first time in almost a week. And I get the weird tingling thing afterwards. Obviously, whatever this is, it isn't thrush. Or it is a more severe version of thrush that isn't being resolved with just Monistat-7.
Today I'm making an official appointment with the lactation consultant. I'm at my wits end. Now I'm worried that Ellis is too accustomed to the bottle and will never nurse again. Silly perhaps, but it is just one of the many worries floating through my head.
I'll be honest, there are some moments where I just want to take an anti-histamine, switch to formula and call it a day. I'm not saying there aren't stresses associated with formula-feeding, I'm sure there are. It's just that at this point, I'm almost willing to trade my stresses for those stresses.
Almost.
I'll go to the lactation consultant. I'll bare my boobs for a stranger. I'll rub vaginal cream on my nipples. I'll even eat yogurt. I'll do whatever it takes to get this back on track.
And if none of it works. I will move on.
We've hit a bit of a stumbling block in the breastfeeding department. I want to tell you about it in case their are any breastfeeding mamas out there who are having trouble and read my last entry and thought "WTF? What am I doing wrong?" The answer is "nothing." You are doing nothing wrong. There is probably not anything you could have done to prevent the problems you are having. Which, in and of itself, is frustrating but I guess it is a good first lesson in parenthood!
So, Ellis Rose was successfully weaned off the shield with absolutely no problems. Then, about two weeks later, I get mastitis. Totally and completely out of the blue. I still have no idea how I got it. My theories are 1) Ellis was starting to space out her feedings a bit and my body just didn't catch up and 2) my bra doesn't fit.
Not knowing much about mastitis, other than that it is an infection of the breast, I took antibiotics. The mastitis went away but I think the antibiotic was a big mistake on my part.
Next up, thrush. Or something like it. It started with just a bit of tingling after each feeding. Weird but not painful. Then weird became uncomfortable. Uncomfortable became painful and painful became near-unbearable. Add to that excruciating pain at latch-on and breastfeeding suddenly became something I dreaded.
I dealt with this for about a week (stupid, I know) because Ellis Rose's 2 month appointment was coming up and I knew we would be diagnosed with thrush. Problem solved.
Although her pediatrician found no symptoms of thrush in Ellis, the lactation consultant listened to my story and said she was "100% sure" it was yeast because it is very common after a round of antibiotics. She recommended we both be treated for thrush (Ellis and I, not the lactation consultant and I). So I get to rub Monistat-7 on my boobs after each feeding and Ellis gets 4 doses of Nystatin daily. She likes it - it takes like bananas.
The lactation consultant tells me this will make everything immediately better and breastfeeding will no longer feel like I'm in some level of hell. I decide to do the treatment for several days before attempting to breastfeed so during this time I was pumping and bottle-feeding. And guess what happens next?
Mastitis again.
Exact same symptoms as last time except this time I approached my treatment a bit differently. You see, I never had extreme symptoms (other than a high fever) so I did some research and discovered there is something called "noninfectious mastitis." If, after 12-48 hours, the symptoms get better it is likely you have noninfectious mastitis. If they don't, you have infectious mastitis and need antibiotics.
After one very uncomfortable day, mine got better. I spent that day sleeping, pumping every 2 hours, drinking tons of water and massaging my breast. I did not take a fever reducer because I didn't think it was necessary.
So, thinking the worst is behind me, I nurse Ellis for the first time in almost a week. And I get the weird tingling thing afterwards. Obviously, whatever this is, it isn't thrush. Or it is a more severe version of thrush that isn't being resolved with just Monistat-7.
Today I'm making an official appointment with the lactation consultant. I'm at my wits end. Now I'm worried that Ellis is too accustomed to the bottle and will never nurse again. Silly perhaps, but it is just one of the many worries floating through my head.
I'll be honest, there are some moments where I just want to take an anti-histamine, switch to formula and call it a day. I'm not saying there aren't stresses associated with formula-feeding, I'm sure there are. It's just that at this point, I'm almost willing to trade my stresses for those stresses.
Almost.
I'll go to the lactation consultant. I'll bare my boobs for a stranger. I'll rub vaginal cream on my nipples. I'll even eat yogurt. I'll do whatever it takes to get this back on track.
And if none of it works. I will move on.
Saturday
Superwoman
I feel like superwoman today.
I nursed in public for the very first time AND I did it without the nipple shield!
(The lack of nipple shield was totally unplanned. I forgot to put it in the diaper bag. Granted, I have been weaning us off the shield but this was the first time I actually started a feeding without one.)
BOO yeah.
I nursed in public for the very first time AND I did it without the nipple shield!
(The lack of nipple shield was totally unplanned. I forgot to put it in the diaper bag. Granted, I have been weaning us off the shield but this was the first time I actually started a feeding without one.)
BOO yeah.
Friday
Parenthood = The End of Procrastination?
So, in all the excitement and fun of having a new baby, it would be easy for me to forget that I actually have one final class to complete before I can graduate with my Master's in May.
Luckily, that class only meets once a week and the professor is one I know well.
I have (miraculously) been able to stay on top of all of the reading for this class but a new challenge has presented itself in the form of a paper due on Monday.
At some point this week I realized that I can no longer wait until the utter last minute to finish this paper. Feeding Ellis Rose, changing her diapers, staring at her, singing to her and playing with her all tend to take up my time.
And, although I would have thought it impossible, my attention span and brain power have deteriorated even further (see, does that even make sense? I don't know) from when I was pregnant.
Luckily, my mom has been able to watch Ellis Rose while I clickity clack away on the computer but I find myself staring off into space more than I am comfortable admitting.
All of this means that I have no idea what kind of paper I will be turning in on Monday. I hope it is the kind that earns at least a B.
Luckily, that class only meets once a week and the professor is one I know well.
I have (miraculously) been able to stay on top of all of the reading for this class but a new challenge has presented itself in the form of a paper due on Monday.
At some point this week I realized that I can no longer wait until the utter last minute to finish this paper. Feeding Ellis Rose, changing her diapers, staring at her, singing to her and playing with her all tend to take up my time.
And, although I would have thought it impossible, my attention span and brain power have deteriorated even further (see, does that even make sense? I don't know) from when I was pregnant.
Luckily, my mom has been able to watch Ellis Rose while I clickity clack away on the computer but I find myself staring off into space more than I am comfortable admitting.
All of this means that I have no idea what kind of paper I will be turning in on Monday. I hope it is the kind that earns at least a B.
Tuesday
Unexpected
Here's something I was not expecting. I miss being pregnant.
Despite the fact that I had a very easy pregnancy, I was obviously looking forward to having an outside baby. Because no matter how connected you feel to the inside baby - it won't compare to having the baby live and in the flesh, right?
Well...right. Being able to look at Ellis Rose every day and learn her moods, her expressions her likes and dislikes cannot compare to anything. But, I still miss being pregnant.
I miss the way I felt when I was pregnant. I miss feeling Ellis move. I miss not having to worry if my belly is sticking out too much. I miss having her with me always. (Okay, so she's still pretty much with me always but we aren't physically connected anymore and that makes it different.)
And, I'll admit it, I miss the attention. People are at their best around a pregnant woman - opening doors, giving up their spot in the grocery line, offering advice and opinions (albeit unsolicited) and just making conversation.
So the solution to all of this would be to get pregnant again, right? Ha! Since we took the maternity rider off our health insurance, this is not a possibility right now. But I will say I am looking forward to future pregnancies more than I thought possible at this stage in the game.
And being not pregnant has its benefits too - not least of which is the ability to drink a glass of wine. And going back to non-maternity clothes. Those two things alone will keep me from becoming the next Michelle Duggar.
Despite the fact that I had a very easy pregnancy, I was obviously looking forward to having an outside baby. Because no matter how connected you feel to the inside baby - it won't compare to having the baby live and in the flesh, right?
Well...right. Being able to look at Ellis Rose every day and learn her moods, her expressions her likes and dislikes cannot compare to anything. But, I still miss being pregnant.
I miss the way I felt when I was pregnant. I miss feeling Ellis move. I miss not having to worry if my belly is sticking out too much. I miss having her with me always. (Okay, so she's still pretty much with me always but we aren't physically connected anymore and that makes it different.)
And, I'll admit it, I miss the attention. People are at their best around a pregnant woman - opening doors, giving up their spot in the grocery line, offering advice and opinions (albeit unsolicited) and just making conversation.
So the solution to all of this would be to get pregnant again, right? Ha! Since we took the maternity rider off our health insurance, this is not a possibility right now. But I will say I am looking forward to future pregnancies more than I thought possible at this stage in the game.
And being not pregnant has its benefits too - not least of which is the ability to drink a glass of wine. And going back to non-maternity clothes. Those two things alone will keep me from becoming the next Michelle Duggar.
Saturday
Long Story Short
Here's what you need to know:
1. The baby is here! (Actually, the baby has been here for, oh, about a month now).
2. The baby is a girl! Ellis Rose born January 19, 2010 weighing 6 lbs 14 oz, 19 3/4" long.
3. The birth did not go according to plan. In fact, it went totally awry. We had a c-section after the baby did not respond well to what turned out to be an unsuccessful induction. But it is hard to quibble over the details when we have a beautiful and healthy daughter to show for it. That's not to say I wasn't pretty disappointed (after feeling like a failure and feeling scared for my baby and scared for myself) but I've never really been one to dwell on the negative. Especially when there is so much good stuff to dwell on instead. Perhaps someday I'll do a post about c-sections and the (very weird) recovery process but not now.
Instead I'll just stare at my Ellis Rose some more.
I mean, wouldn't you?
1. The baby is here! (Actually, the baby has been here for, oh, about a month now).
2. The baby is a girl! Ellis Rose born January 19, 2010 weighing 6 lbs 14 oz, 19 3/4" long.
3. The birth did not go according to plan. In fact, it went totally awry. We had a c-section after the baby did not respond well to what turned out to be an unsuccessful induction. But it is hard to quibble over the details when we have a beautiful and healthy daughter to show for it. That's not to say I wasn't pretty disappointed (after feeling like a failure and feeling scared for my baby and scared for myself) but I've never really been one to dwell on the negative. Especially when there is so much good stuff to dwell on instead. Perhaps someday I'll do a post about c-sections and the (very weird) recovery process but not now.
Instead I'll just stare at my Ellis Rose some more.
I mean, wouldn't you?
Tuesday
Oh my word
This is why I shouldn't watch TV before bed. I saw a story featuring this product on Nightline and it got me all riled up and now I can't sleep.
But, honestly, prenatal education?
Isn't it bad enough that parents are trying to teach their kids to read from day 1? Or forcing them to learn how to play an instrument before they can walk? Or teaching them all the continents before they reach Kindergarten?
Call me crazy but I think it is more important that my child develop a love of books, an appreciation for music and an ability to relate to the world than be the first in their class to identify words, music notes and countries.
But apparently that isn't even enough for some parents because they are turning to products that supposedly will help advance their children later in life. Products that can be used while their child is still in utero.
Although, I have to say, maybe their kid will need all the help they can get because they obviously aren't coming from the greatest gene pool if their parents buy this crap.
But maybe that's too harsh.
It is just that all of this makes me kind of sick. Aren't kids naturally curious? Won't they discover things on their own? Is it really necessary that we point everything out to them or that we make them "learn" before they are ready? Isn't it better for them to ask questions than for us, as parents, to feed them information?
I realize I have zero children at this point and I have no idea what I'm really talking about. But this just struck me as wrong.
And now that I got that off my chest, maybe I can get some sleep.
But, honestly, prenatal education?
Isn't it bad enough that parents are trying to teach their kids to read from day 1? Or forcing them to learn how to play an instrument before they can walk? Or teaching them all the continents before they reach Kindergarten?
Call me crazy but I think it is more important that my child develop a love of books, an appreciation for music and an ability to relate to the world than be the first in their class to identify words, music notes and countries.
But apparently that isn't even enough for some parents because they are turning to products that supposedly will help advance their children later in life. Products that can be used while their child is still in utero.
Although, I have to say, maybe their kid will need all the help they can get because they obviously aren't coming from the greatest gene pool if their parents buy this crap.
But maybe that's too harsh.
It is just that all of this makes me kind of sick. Aren't kids naturally curious? Won't they discover things on their own? Is it really necessary that we point everything out to them or that we make them "learn" before they are ready? Isn't it better for them to ask questions than for us, as parents, to feed them information?
I realize I have zero children at this point and I have no idea what I'm really talking about. But this just struck me as wrong.
And now that I got that off my chest, maybe I can get some sleep.
Saturday
Changing pad = great cat bed
We walked into our apartment the other night to find our cat, Junebug, asleep on Mini-McEvoy's changing pad and (new) changing pad cover. Even Cobbler (the stuffed cat that Junebug is inexplicably terrified of) was not enough of a deterrent.
Eh, the baby might as well get used to having cat hair all over his/her stuff. As long as the cats don't try to sleep in the crib, I think we are good.
Monday
In the home stretch
We made it through the Christmas holidays and, although I seem to say this a lot, I feel like we are really in the home stretch right now. One of my goals was to not have this baby on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve or New Year's Day and I'm happy to say we accomplished that goal.
Now we are really ready to have this baby.
But at my last two appointments: no progress whatsoever. No dilation. No effacement. Baby is still floating (but still head down).
And yes, I talk about my dilation status with pretty much anyone who cares to know and probably a few who don't. Is this the beginning of my modesty flying out the window?
Anyway, I feel the waiting game has truly begun now. All of the baby's things are washed, folded and ready. There are no more last-minute baby items to buy. Our hospital bag is packed. Our apartment is clean. The cat's claws are trimmed. What more can we do but wait?
And walk. And eat eggplant parmesan. And any number of supposed labor inducing tricks.
