Breastfeeding FAIL

Well I should have known, after my last post, that this would happen. When you toot your own horn it tends to turn around and blast you in the face. Or something like that.

We've hit a bit of a stumbling block in the breastfeeding department. I want to tell you about it in case their are any breastfeeding mamas out there who are having trouble and read my last entry and thought "WTF? What am I doing wrong?" The answer is "nothing." You are doing nothing wrong. There is probably not anything you could have done to prevent the problems you are having. Which, in and of itself, is frustrating but I guess it is a good first lesson in parenthood!

So, Ellis Rose was successfully weaned off the shield with absolutely no problems. Then, about two weeks later, I get mastitis. Totally and completely out of the blue. I still have no idea how I got it. My theories are 1) Ellis was starting to space out her feedings a bit and my body just didn't catch up and 2) my bra doesn't fit.

Not knowing much about mastitis, other than that it is an infection of the breast, I took antibiotics. The mastitis went away but I think the antibiotic was a big mistake on my part.

Next up, thrush. Or something like it. It started with just a bit of tingling after each feeding. Weird but not painful. Then weird became uncomfortable. Uncomfortable became painful and painful became near-unbearable. Add to that excruciating pain at latch-on and breastfeeding suddenly became something I dreaded.

I dealt with this for about a week (stupid, I know) because Ellis Rose's 2 month appointment was coming up and I knew we would be diagnosed with thrush. Problem solved.

Although her pediatrician found no symptoms of thrush in Ellis, the lactation consultant listened to my story and said she was "100% sure" it was yeast because it is very common after a round of antibiotics. She recommended we both be treated for thrush (Ellis and I, not the lactation consultant and I). So I get to rub Monistat-7 on my boobs after each feeding and Ellis gets 4 doses of Nystatin daily. She likes it - it takes like bananas.

The lactation consultant tells me this will make everything immediately better and breastfeeding will no longer feel like I'm in some level of hell. I decide to do the treatment for several days before attempting to breastfeed so during this time I was pumping and bottle-feeding. And guess what happens next?

Mastitis again.

Exact same symptoms as last time except this time I approached my treatment a bit differently. You see, I never had extreme symptoms (other than a high fever) so I did some research and discovered there is something called "noninfectious mastitis." If, after 12-48 hours, the symptoms get better it is likely you have noninfectious mastitis. If they don't, you have infectious mastitis and need antibiotics.

After one very uncomfortable day, mine got better. I spent that day sleeping, pumping every 2 hours, drinking tons of water and massaging my breast. I did not take a fever reducer because I didn't think it was necessary.

So, thinking the worst is behind me, I nurse Ellis for the first time in almost a week. And I get the weird tingling thing afterwards. Obviously, whatever this is, it isn't thrush. Or it is a more severe version of thrush that isn't being resolved with just Monistat-7.

Today I'm making an official appointment with the lactation consultant. I'm at my wits end. Now I'm worried that Ellis is too accustomed to the bottle and will never nurse again. Silly perhaps, but it is just one of the many worries floating through my head.

I'll be honest, there are some moments where I just want to take an anti-histamine, switch to formula and call it a day. I'm not saying there aren't stresses associated with formula-feeding, I'm sure there are. It's just that at this point, I'm almost willing to trade my stresses for those stresses.

Almost.

I'll go to the lactation consultant. I'll bare my boobs for a stranger. I'll rub vaginal cream on my nipples. I'll even eat yogurt. I'll do whatever it takes to get this back on track.

And if none of it works. I will move on.